Results Are About To Roll In

Yo what up. I'm feeling pretty apprehensive lately as the calendar creeps its way into the month of March. The thought of receiving my results around the start of March gave me an unpleasant deja vu. Recently I have been really anxious, constantly painting scenes in my head about the atmosphere and the possible outcomes.




There are three ways this could go down.
1) HUAT AH!!
2) Okay lah
3) Fuck...

I'm praying so damn hard I don't fall into Category 3... I try not to let any high hopes or expectations get in the way but innately, there is a bunch of criteria and standard already set. Can't deny, I would love to have plentiful of As on my cert and be one of those lucky mahfkers receiving a filthy handshake from the principal on stage. However, a really pessimistic, or maybe even practical, side of me keeps dousing my flame and is doing its best to carve out a horrendous way in which shit could go down. Bloody praying for a morning wake up call from the General Office, breaking to me the good news and telling me to head down to school early for preparation to GO UP THE FKING STAGE. That would be lovely. THAT WOULD BE FKING LOVELY THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Till then, it seems like the anxiety is just gonna build up towards result day like a damn Tetris game.




I don't know why this matters so much to me this time round, but definitely not because I want to secure a place in a stellar local Uni or some shit like that. I think it's more of a concrete affirmation of my hardwork. Sounds really stupid but listen me out. I know I'm definitely not an academic ace, hitting perfect scores on laminated certificates and crying over the fact that I lost one mark in the exam. But it is a form of self-assurance that my efforts pay off and I'm rewarded with what I deserve. It would be an utter shame if I mess this one up because then I have failed to accomplish what I was so determined to set out to do. I also feel like there is a point to prove, not just for myself, but to others. I know most people will say that I should do things for myself and shut out what others tell you to do, but I don't know man, I really want to let people around me see that I can compete on equal footing with them and zip up my relatives' mouths that spew only demoralizing shit. Hahaha no hate, just that every time they hit that G spot, I dread the comparison that comes next. I just get really frustrated every time people assume that my intelligence hinges upon my grades.





Well, I do sincerely hope that God does not take a shit on me and Jesus does not crash my car when I let him take the wheel HAHAHAHA. Let those horrid months of relentless grind at the library and all the MCs I took to pon school just to grind pay off. But then again, what if........ I am to be punished for ponning school and faking parent letters to extend my MCs...... by getting fucked up grades????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Hahahaha Peace Out~