5 January 2015. Urghhh... It's a Monday... School kicked off with the same dreadful and dead atmosphere setting in on everyone. Like a viral outbreak, the lackluster mood and dull faces proliferated across the entire cohort. Well, I didn't get much sleep the previous night cuz I slept pretty late. So I woke up this morning zombie the fuck out and was so close to skipping school. Gotta at least survive the week.... C'mon... Back to the same old routine going to school early in the morning. Bus was pretty damn slow today. Discipline master started counting down and that nigga made me sprint in the morning.
Ain't gonna describe much about my first day at school because it was boring af. Blog posts are supposed to be interesting, so here, I'll get down to how I feel for this coming year. Unprepared, yeah man... Totally not ready to get back to the farmhouse to grind... Got scarred badly last year when I chiong for my exams one week before and I never wanna go last minute on that shit again. The thing is, I think it'll be worse this time round. I signed myself up for OGL, I've got A divs coming, gonna train up for NAPFA, gotta complete the pile of holiday homework and start learning newer and more difficult ones. It's gonna take a toll on me sooner or later. I have to juggle so many things in hand with only 24 hours a day. Time hates me so much that it doesn't avail itself when I need it most.... Bound to be physically and mentally drained after all these shit. This is the year to go full throttle on my studies but idk why am I still caught up with extra stuff... Most likely for the experience but... Let's be practical, these experience can't get you to the Uni course you want, as much as you have "learnt values" from them.
Today I felt like I'm in a big shit ass mess after the teachers gave us heads up on what's about to come. The workload is a tsunami. I was like, "I'm so fucked if I don't get my shit together asap..." Yet, I still have not tuned myself in to the right state of mind which is to start picking up my pace. I'm still chilling, not feeling the momentum at all. Can't believe I'm actually worrying about some retarded stuff that's happening 10 months away from now. Could have been like, "LET FUTURE ELVIS HANDLE THAT." as what I always did. This feeling's kinda fucked up. The competitiveness within classroom boundaries will definitely start to spike and the pressure will hit me in the face like a baseball bat. My drive is dormant, have not really ignited the "dwelling beast", but everything will start to get shitty and tiring once I start pushing.
School's feeling rather empty today. Very little people chilling in the canteen. Couldn't help but feel the tingling sensation in my fingers and the very "new" kinda emotional pangs like one those that hit you when you first joined a new school without knowing anyone. That very stranger-induced feeling made me feel even more worn out at school. Became a sleepy head during lessons today... Hours after hours of lessons killed my mood. New classmates, new environment and newer atmosphere. Almost like a reset to the ambience that we have built up from last year. Ended school hecka late at 6pm and I needed to release the clouds of uncertainty and dreadfulness. Good thing Zheng Hong and Aloy was playing soccer at the field together. Had to join them for a quick sesh and burn up those feels. We left school at around 7.30pm and started talking about upcoming trainings as well as studies. We all agreed to study together after school and then kick some balls to manage both our studies and CCA while we still can. Well, though it might just be talks, but it sure did make me feel the support and the encouragement, and that I'm not charging into the warzone alone. Feels pretty comforting when someone, perhaps even anyone, comes up to you and asks you this, "Eh, after school we chiong study together ai mai? Steady bo? We study everyday like that confirm no problem one!" Hahaha... Lil' things that makes you feel at ease and motivated.
Gonna cut this off right here. Supposed to be clearing my math homework but ahhhh screw that... Gotta spill this out first. Really do hope that my discipline is on form and that I do not succumb to the seductive embrace of procrastination. Don't wanna mess this year up and end up regretting like I did for O's. Hoping to kick start the momentum with some people and burn down A's. Big talk for a farsighted goal. Can I actually execute this? Let the future Elvis handle this hahahaha!
Have a good one. Peace out~
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