Yo, wazzup! Been awhile since I last blogged... You know why? You know why? CUZ I'VE CHANGED!! HAHA!! Okay sorry... That's an inside joke. I've been away for 2 long weeks for a diving course, facilitated by Singapore Naval Diving Unit and arranged by NCC. Dayuumm.... Just realized that almost everything is about NCC... Maybe because it's just that awesome?!?!
It was November 26, the first day of the course. Woke up earlier than the morning cock to get prepared. Donned on my No.4 uniform, did a last minute check on my bulky-ass bag, then headed off to Sembawang Camp. Before the course, I have a whole lot of aspirations and expectations of NDU. That's mainly because during the selections held there, I saw with my own eyes on the diver's training and physique. I've got to say... The divers there are quite hawt :) NO HOMO!! It's like there's a rule that prohibits any divers from wearing shirt while training. Everywhere you walk, you'll see people with 8 packs on their abs, running at the speed of Usain Bolt, around the whole place.
Back to story, we gathered as a whole of 12 to book in, 1 guy's missing and that's the cadet officer who went to CMPB. Walking in tired like a Tired King because apparently most people last night didn't slept well. We took seats after entering an air-conditioned classroom to settle all our admin stuff and got our own Dive School shirt!! Soon after, a whole series of briefings and lectures were conducted for the whole day by a Warrant Officer, let's call him, A. Sitting our asses for hours straight, we learned dive physics, dive rules and regulations, dive medicine etc. Blah blah blah... Starting to doze off... Eyelids getting heavy................... "You guys have a test on dive physics tomorrow"...... Ya whatever........ "If you fail, you can't dive"........ Okay...... Whatevs gee........ WTF?!?!?! A TEST!?!??! FAIL!?!?! NO DIVE!??! Immediately, I was jolted awake. Shit! A theory test for diving? OMG.... Looks like I'll have to start mugging for this.
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Dive School Shirt! |
Dinner's over heading back to my cabin. After showering with freezing icy water from a corroded shower head, I went out with only my pants (TRYING MY BEST TO BLEND IN WITH THE DIVERS!) and met this one NSF who seemed pretty naughty. He asked me about stuff and I replied with utmost respect, fearing that they will assault me or something. Alot of my other course mates gathered as well and joined in the conversation. Apparently, that guy was from Maris Stella as well! He used to be the baddest kid in school, fighting, smoking, skipping classes and shit. He looked as if he played his young life away and is about to ace in slacking off in future. However, that dude, got 12 points from his L1R5 for his O levels! WHAT THE HELL!?!? Lesson learnt: if you want to study, you can really do well. Joining in the conversations were other NSFs, but soon, the topic started to sidetrack. They told us all the haunted shit and weird stuff happening in our cabins, especially mine. There's this thing called Xiao Hong, haunting my cabin at night. It was said that there will be a knock in the middle of the night, but whatever you do, DON'T OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! I was scared stiff. FIRST DAY OF MY COURSE, AND THEY DECIDED TO TELL ME SHIT ABOUT MY CABIN, SAYING IT WAS HAUNTED! Crap... I have 2 more weeks to go....
Can't sleep well for subsequent nights... Every time before I sleep, I will place one talisman on the side of my bed (top of the double decker bed, next to the door!) and hold on tightly to another talisman. To be honest, during the night, you will hear moaning and groaning, just beside my bed which is the cardboard.... And apparently, my bald room mate can't sleep at all. So he decided to wake up on his own, head to the toilet and wash the toilet bowls there at 2am. WTF?! Let's call this guy Weirdo.
The first 2 days were boring. Lectures, lectures, dry runs, dry runs.... I WANT TO HEAD TO THE POOL!! NOWWW!!!! Due to the rain, we can't try out breathing air from the cylinder underwater. And instead, we did flutterkicks and leg raises the whole evening. What's worse was that everyone have to put on their heavy-ass fins (not sure why it's not called flippers) and execute the exercises! The fins may seem kinda light when you hold them in your hands, but when you put it on and do flutterkicks, "OUCH" says your damn thighs and abs! There's even neck exercises!! OMG!! The neck exercises made my whole neck numb and tired! Holy crap.... Best workout ever! :) Oh and you thought push-ups were difficult? We do flutterkicks as punishment!
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FEEL YOUR ABS AND THIGHS TEAR! |
Finally! We got to try out breathing air from the cylinder!! But then, we have to carry the cylinder on our back to the charging bay, then head towards the poolside.... ARGH!! 15kg of heavy shit!! The experience when breathing underwater was awesome! It feels like you are some kind of Darth Vader Special Ops Aquaman le Power Ranger!! Ah! What the hell? Why's there water flooding my mask? OMG!! MY NOSE! THERE'S WATER FLOODING MY NOSE!! For the diving, you have to learn to breathe from your mouth rather than from your nose. If you are too used to breathing from your nose, there will be higher chances that you are gonna breathe in water, and honestly, that feeling will set you on panic spree. After 10mins of breathing compressible air, my throat is starting to dry up... The feeling is like when there's a mini fissure down your throat... Cracking dry sensation is also another fear factor. After seeing how badly our finning sucked, the instructors got us to tread water for many sets of 5mins.... WITH FINS!! It's torturing when you have to keep your chin and hands above water. My entire leg is cramping up!! ARGH!!! TORTURING!!
Learning how to enter the waters in different ways by the poolside was pretty awkward and gay since all of us were in swimming trunks..... Next, we got to the 3m tower. PREPARE FOR TOWER JUMP!! Everyone seemed super nervous... When I climbed up there and looked down, I seriously want to back off already. But guess what? YOLO! Peeeewww...... SPLASH!! Ouch! MY FEET!! Soon after, we learned how to climb up ropes. That was like the most tiring activity ever! Everyone tried to use their arm power. It's impossible to get all the way up the rope just by using your arms. You have to coordinate you feet, you movement properly to move up the rope effectively. One word for this. SHAG.
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Err... Wut... |
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TOWER JUMP! |
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Rope climbing! |
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That's me! |
Next, we did our Individual Water Proficiency (IWP). We were required to suit up and dress up with full gear, take a giant stride into the pool, do check for your buddy, then fin with hands up for 1 minute. The thing is, DOUBLE CYLINDER IS THE KILLER! That thing is like satan dispatching thousands of demons to drag you to hell! Every time I carry a double cylinder, there will be this hard and sharp thing pivoting on my poor tailbone, and acting all the weight on it! Always have bruises after carrying that shit! SO DAMN HEAVY!! It's 30+kg acting on you shoulder!! 30kg to be honest, is quite light for a human. Because you get to piggyback the person, and the person's groin area is soft. BUT THAT DOUBLE CYLINDER IS ALL METAL! Every way you try to carry is a torture!
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TIRING!! Trying to fin ourselves afloat with double cylinder and weight belt! |
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That tired face.... |
Pool competency was very scary... I find this whole thing like "Jaws" the movie... Okay let me explain. First, you will dive down to a depth of 4m and then start finning underwater in circles. You are to look down at all times. The standby diver (rescue diver) will standby at your side. Once you see your standby diver beside you, prepare to be attacked! They will rip off your mask, your mouthpiece and stuff. For stage 1, they will only rip off those stuff and loosen one side of your strap (cylinder). You are supposed to remedy all your stuff and then get inspected. But for stage 2, instead of ripping off your mouthpiece, they entangle it and turn off your cylinder valves, cutting off the air source. Then they rip open both sides off the strap and your cylinder will most probably slip off if you don't hold tight. This is a challenge of staying extremely calm and holding your breathe for a long while. Apparently for me, during stage 1, the agressor ripped of my mouthpiece while I was exhaling. So I ran out of breath and panic like a sotong underwater. I was signaling the "out of breath" sign and the standby diver got his extra mouthpiece jammed under his waist belt! Shit.... Lucky he took it out in time if not I would have drown.... Oh and by the way, we can't just surface from 4m unless you want to have burst lungs or decompression illnesses (including death). For pool comp stage 2, I managed to settle everything at 1 go! No 2nd try!! WHHEEEWW!!
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GOD DAMMIT! Got attacked! HEY! WHERE'S MY MASK!? |
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Okay... Just gotta find that hole... |
Time for the sea circuit! It's known to be the most tiring activity in NDU. MOST! All of us watched the demonstration while gulping down our anxiety... When the Warrant Officer ask if anyone of us can beat 20mins, Weirdo decided to be ultra-ambitious and say that he can do it in 10mins. Pfft... Fastest timing for sea circuit in NDU is 13mins, and if he do it in 10mins, I personally lick his feet. And so it began. We started off turtleback finning from shore to "Tower of Ropes". That's when the shit gets really. We all tried, and tried and tried to scale up, but NO SAYS THE SLIPPERY ROPE AND DIE!! The rope made us fall back into the water in defeat (trying to stir up a drama and pushing the blame to the rope)! Oh shit... That was tiring... Proceeding to the tower for tower jump, I'm starting to feel the fatigue.... Putting on our fins, we jumped into the sea one after another, and then turtleback our way to another end of the shore, picked ourselves up and run back to the starting point. 1 down, 2 more to go! The most memorable thing the officer whose in charge of the tower jump said, "How you enjoy the game? This is the only kind of game in the whole of Singapore you know? NDU's arcade! Ready? And JUMP!"
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Watching as anxiety bubbled through our nerves... |
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FIN! FIN HARDER!! |
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Climbing this rope is the toughest shit I've done so far in my life! |
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The situational God's hand! FINALLY!! HEAVEN!! |
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Losing all the strength to take out my fins... |
After the sea circuit, it's time for our sea dive! But first, everyone went to carry the boat, fix on the boat motor, prepare all the equipment aboard the boat and then launch it off. The boat together with the motor is da bomb! It was so heavy, 12 people assisting to lift the boat have to heave it to the shore instead! Finally for the sea dive! Beautiful day, but looks like dark clouds are approaching at a fast pace... When my buddy and I started diving into the sea, everything was contrasting green... Visibility was so bad, I could only see up to 0.5m or less! I had to pull my buddy close to see his face! During this sea dive, we have to hold on to the slimy rope, known as the jackstay, and complete and full triangle back to shore. Halfway through the dive, seawater started entering my mouth... GROSS!! Saltier than your mucus!!! Erm... You mean... You don't eat your mucus? Oh okay.... That taste in my mouth was killing me! And since I was the boss diver, I have to hold onto the jackstay. And damn was the jackstay sharp! There's freaking barnacles and algae growing on that shit! Got cuts on my fingers! Eww... But what's more disgusting, is the trash on the seabed. The rubbish there is not just garbage, it's decomposed trash soaked in a pile of elephant dung than covered in 1000 years of vomit-coated stale cheese! That's the LEAST I could describe the shit down there... The rubbish underwater looked like dead bodies wrapped in sacks and plastic bags... The view is like... A wasteland..... FILLED WITH SEA WATER!! Shit... Even though we didn't complete the sea dive due to lightning alert, but at least it's an experience :)
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Photogenic before sea dive >;) |
When the sun sets, we were all prepared for NIGHT DIVE!! OOOOOHHHH!!! The excitement level rose drastically! We had lightsticks taped to our floats and everyone was discussing with their buddies on all the tapping signals. The reason being why everyone was so anxious was because during our night dive, there will be no usage of torchlight and the visibility was hardly even 10cm! Since now I'm the float man and my buddy's the boss diver, I had no worries about having cuts on my hand :) But I was wrong! When we began diving, no shit can be seen. Not wanting to lose my buddy, I became temporarily gay and held on tightly to his hands. He was supposed to lead us using the jackstay but suddenly, he whacked my mouthpiece off! I immediately traced my mouthpiece and breathed deeply. I had feeling that my buddy was panicking! A panick diver is a.... is a.... wait... A panick diver is a... dead diver? LOL! I gave him 3 taps on his chest and both of us surfaced the waters. We then turtlebacked our way back to shore. After settling our stuff, we got scolded for being pussies, getting accused that we surface because we were scared.... NO I'M NOT! I ACTUALLY ENJOY THE THRILL! During the night dive, when I breathed out, there were sparks of luminous green lights floating! Those were the microorganisms that glows in the dark. SO AWESOME!! Later then, my buddy told we that we have already reached the T-junction whereby we were supposed to grab onto another rope, anchored down my a concrete block, and continue our way back. But as he released his hands off the original jackstay to grab the next one, I lost it. He couldn't find it! Then he fell back due to the current and whacked my mouthpiece.... SCREW YOU!! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE BOSS DIVER!
Plus, during the night dive, one of my course mates lost his fins. There was a huge argument between us and the blame was passed around like Tom And Jerry holding a dynamite. Warrant Officer A, was so pissed, he blew his top and punished all of us severely. PUSH UPS PUSH UPS! CHANGE! FLUTTERKICKS 40 COUNTS OF 4!! CHANGE!! SIT UPS SIT UPS! CHANGE! PUSH UPS!! CHANGE LEG RAISE LEG RAISE!! CHANGE! PUSH UPS PUSH UPS! RECOVER! *Panting like a dog* Apparently, nobody in NDU had seen Warrant Officer A getting so furious before. We must be really that badass :P The whole episode lasted till midnight before we were allowed to return to our cabins to sleep...
Weirdo was being all dumb and retarded again... People dared him to lick the floor, he lick. People dared him to lick his boots, he lick. And when people jokingly dared him to lick his "thing" he pulled down his pants, reveal his caged animal and managed to bend all the way down to lick it! EEWWWW!! GROSS SHIT!! GO AND DIE NOW! FAITH IN HUMANITY... GONE!! Everyone crowding in my cabin freaked out! One of my friends exclaimed, "OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ALREADY!" And then he replied, "Dreaming of my handsome face right?" Everyone then gave him a blanket party and beat him up! :D
Finally, after 2 weeks of tough training and fun times, we graduated as divers. Earned myself the honorable Basic Divers badge, a self-custom montage and also a certificate that can be converted to commercial diving license :) It was a whole lot of memorable experience packed inside my mind :) Looking forward to going overseas for dives with my course mates! :)
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My pride and honour :) |
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Fun group shot! |
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"Nothing stands in our way." |
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