Evening Serenade: January 2016

Yo what up gee. This blog post gon' be like a post-shipwreck survival journal cuz heck nigga, these few months have been helluva ride. Before I get started, I wanna wish yall Happy Teacher's Day, Selamat Hari Raya Haji, Merry Christmas and a fking Happy New Year because look at the god damn calendar right now, bloody 3 January 2016 already.... Did you copy that? 2016. Twenty Sixteen. I repeat. Two Zero One Six nigga. Wtf man, not sure if it's just me or time passes faster when you're older. Last post in 4th September, whining like a lil' bitch about school and shit lol, WHAT A PUSSY. Oh and yeah, A Level's over after months of relentless grind... Kinda miss that shit though, I'll get to that later. But first, let me update yall wtf happened in my life ever since my last post.

My September was jinxed with a whale of stress and a myriad of practice papers to do because A level looked pretty ready to kick my arse. Pre-Prelim period was the shittiest probably NOT because my birthday was one day before both Math and Bio paper. How I spent my birthday? I woke up in the morning, head out to Coffee Bean at Marina Square, alone, studied for a few hours, alone, head to town to shop, alone, had a $30 Tonkatsu dinner that sucked ass, alone, attempted suicide at the highway but talked myself out of it, alone, and went home to sleep.................. You thought I was gonna say "alone"? Lol nah, I forgot, I popped by Geylang THEN I went home to sleep with two hookers. HAHAHAHA I kid, only went home with one hooker that's all.

October was when shit started getting real, like I ain't talking about real deal kinda real. I'm talking about the real that blurs the line between life and death. I ain't feeling shit anymore during this period, life force drained and I was practically a programmed machine that got up every day to study in the library till night routinely. Last day of official school happened on 15 Oct, I remember myself being emo as fuck because those good old days can never repeat themselves again. Then it was stone cold full throttle all out grind until A Levels which started in November.

November was a month of sheer intensity, kinda had my brain fried every single day of the month till I can't feel a single tinge of anxiety before the exams anymore. Oh yeah, one thing I did before I step in the exam hall was to enter with my right foot, touch the floor, kiss it and point it to the heavens because I see those bloody successful footballers do it before entering the pitch, so I figured out maybe it could bring me shit tons of luck too HAHAHAHA The papers were all pretty fucked up in a sense that they put across a question in some really queer way. Here's an example. Say someone wants to go to the bathroom and he's supposed to say "Excuse me, can I ask where's the restroom?" Agreed? This is what the A level paper asked, "Pardon my arsed up Caucasian lingo and I apologise in advance should I have brought to you any inconvenience to what you were momentarily engaged in before I interrupted you with this preposterously long fore-question, but in which coordinates do I have to get a lock on such that I can locate the whereabouts of a restroom?" You get what I mean? It's like they confuse the fuck outta you first, make you re-read the whole chunk again, then try to gamble on the various possible interpretations of the question and just basically force you to pray to God that you're answering to whatever the fuck those white niggas want. Don't believe just take a good fucking look at the GP and Bio paper.

Well at least all that shit was finally over, freedom was at the tip of my tongue already. Felt surreal that I ain't gonna study for nuts and I was trying to acclimatize to a normal human being's lifestyle. First few hours of freedom felt bloody good because that moment was what I yearned for the entire year. BUT HEELLLLLL!! Shit I was about to jump back on my study table to get cracking on some Math or something because freedom never felt so BORING before. For real, I was starting to miss A Levels because at least I had a purpose in my dead-but-not-really-a-life life. Man, playing PS4 and going out to eat good every day doesn't feel that good after all especially when your bank balance straight plunge to the salary you earn from a charity event...... Which is like basically.... Nothing........ Now money is an issue, getting broke faster than those mahfkers leaving the exam hall after the last MCQ paper. Fun wasn't as FUN as I thought it would be. Had so many plans for the post A's afterlife and guess wtf have I accomplished after an entire month after the last paper??? Okay at least I started playing Fifa 16.... Man wtf this is bloody depressing! Well at least I looked forward to Prom..... aaaaannnd it was shit...... aaaaannnddd that was it. Honestly nothing to look forward to after that.

So there you have it, the stuff that had been going on these past few months. There were of course bloody fantastic moments interjecting the busiest period of my life like MBS post-prelims mayhem and shit like that. Hahahaha that was really good, got really tipsy on Barcardi and the rest of what happened throughout the night was a bloody banter haahahahaha! Well right now there's seriously nothing to achieve during this pre-enlistment period. Got 4 more months of freedom to go... Throwback to when I craved so deeply for even a day of freedom hahaha... But this shit is for real, too much of something is bad. I'll keep blogging now since I've got loads of time to spend and I definitely don't wanna lose touch of my writing ability because seeing how my Chinese dipped into the shithole makes me feel that the least I could do is to continue to be proficient in English. So yeah, pics are below for browsing, please kindly refrain from uploading my stuff on Grindr or gay porn sites, they are in chronological order, ENJOY LOOKING AT MY LIFE PEEPO HAHAHA :)