One beautiful morning, birds were chirping and leaves were rustling. Tom and Harry were strolling down the beach of Pulau Tioman... And they died.
Haha, that was a random Primary School introduction for those pathetic lil' English compo they had to write. Speaking of Primary School, the last I went overseas was Primary 5, which was when I went on a Star Cruise to Phuket, Thailand. After that, I got chained to the Lion City like a... Lion... In a circus... (Bad analogy alert!)
So yeah, finally, after 5 years of long wait, I'm bounded for Pulau Tioman, Malaysia! YAY! Well, the preparation for the school dive trip was indeed a waste of time. The pool session, the countless briefings, the administration, paperworks... You know, those kind of pre-something preps? Actually, I think it's really amazing how Maris Stella has been the only school in Singapore to organize overseas dive trips since 1996! Like... Which school would take their students out of their country to conduct a rather risky sport? Swag~ Oh, and this entire blog post has a lot of funny, glamorous and ultimate unglamorous pictures of my friends and I! ENJOY :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was 10 June 2013, 4.45am in the early morning, since my Asian parents were busy farming and were too lazy to send their (hopefully) beloved son to school, I had to take a cab there and met up with my close brother - the Impressario, the Stealth Demon, the Ultimate Fear Factor, the Gaylord.... The Su Puo Yuan. Us being fitness freaks, went to school 30mins before the reporting time to do some stuff at the fitness corner. It was the only fun thing in school for us...
Anyways, all of the divers and divers-to-be gathered at the front porch for our attendance to be taken. Surprisingly, a lot of teachers showed up and the teacher-student ratio was almost 1:1!! Thought our trip would be a boring and restricted one. HOWEVER, when it comes to play, those adults know how to let go of the teacher-student relationship and merge with us :) JOIN THE DARK SIDE! Apparently, one diver forgot to take his passport and held up the entire group. As a result, the tentative plan of visiting a waterfall in Pulau Tioman was cancelled >:( I hate you Marcus! Hahaha just kidding.
Headed off for Woodlands checkpoint and on the way, my camwhore instinct pounced into action and bursted a few shots with Puo Yuan :)
 |
| MOOOOO! (Because meow is too mainstream) |
 |
| Okay... I looked as if I had Parkinson's.... HAHAHA |
 |
| Pig Style! |
 |
| We duh sexaaayy! |
 |
| GA GA U LA LA! BAD ROMANCE WITH THE BRENDAN! |
 |
| Now you look like a lizard getting kicked in the nuts! |
After arriving at Woodlands Checkpoint, we picked up several people there. And guess what, my NCC junior is there! Actually that's not the surprising part... HE BROUGHT HIS ENTIRE FAMILY ALONG! His mum, his dad and his annoying little brother.... GRRRR.... SO IRRATING OMG!! Sorry Isaac, but I have no choice but to go blunt about it. Your brother is very freaking mischievous and playful and noisy and rowdy and socially "explosive". From what I heard from those peeps sitting behind, the tranquility and peace in the bus was shattered the moment that little brat board the coach. Fortunately for me, I PLUGGED IN MY EAR PIECE AND LISTENED TO "Love Is" FEATURING KIM HEE SUN!! OMG! I love her so much man <333
Wait... Did I see someone very familar? OMG! It's Mr Paul Leong! He was my Secondary 1 Maths teacher (who's now the VP of Ngee Ann Sec)! Reminiscing, I used to piss him off so badly every single lesson that I got sent out of the class several times.............. IN A DAY. He was going on the dive trip with us as well and I came up to him asking, "Mr Leong! You remember me? I am Elvis, your Sec 1 student!"
Mr Leong: "Err... OH I REMEMBER! You are the small boy who made all the funny videos last time right?"
Me: "Erm.... That was an embarrassing history... Glad you remembered me though (Y)"
Apparently, he brought his family along as well. His wife, Mrs Leong, was there and so were his two daughters. His oldest daughter, Geraldyn (?) from Cedar who's Secondary 4 was right beside him together with a little girl called Emmeline (?). The six or seven-year-old small girl was really cute and adorable! Wanted to play with her but she's always busy attending to Mr Denis Koh... PFFT FINE!
 |
| Woodlands Checkpoint |
 |
| Malaysian Custom :O!! |
OH YEAH! PASSED THE CAUSEWAY!! I'M OFFICIALLY IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY!! THIS IS SO REAL... IT FEELS LIKE... I'M ALIVE!! We headed off into the "urban wilderness" of Johor Bahru and stopped by a whole street of hawker stalls to have our... Breaklunch? Lunchfast? Oh wait, brunch :) There's a whole variety of Malaysian delicacies for us to choose from. We were granted 45mins of liberty to roam this foreign street, and we got our first taste of actual freedom! I can't say that Johor is well-developed, yet I can't say that it is underdeveloped. It's really a blend from both worlds because on one side, there were urban sites and on the other side, there were dilapidated kampung villages.
 |
| Brunch with the Secondary 4 Open Water Divers! |
 |
| Brendan: "He should have taken a pic of me instead... I'm more handsome lor..." |
 |
| Ahhhh~ The further away I am from Singapore, the more relaxed I feel :) |
Times up! All of us rolled back into our coach and headed off for Mersing!
 |
| Stopping by for toilet breaks and refueling! |
 |
| This place is really really deserted and remote.... |
Puo Yuan alighted the coach to get an ice cream and came back in. As he was sensually licking his ice cream, that lil' brat just popped out beside him, stared intently at the ice cream as of it contains his life-long desires and pleasures (you know what I mean right?) and sticked out his tongue to feign a lick. Right after that, he vanished to the back of the bus. Puo Yuan and I exchanged that violated glances, somewhat like our virginities were stolen. What. The. F.....iretruck... We don't even know you... How da... Who da... WHAT?!
 |
| "Oh mai gawd... What the hell is that kid doing?" |
 |
| Swag Metallic Shaded Googles! |
 |
| If I'm not wrong, the dude in front is playing Pokemon... Childish.... LIKE ME!! POKEMON FTW! |
 |
| Finally saw a WHOLE stretch of oil palm plantation! Geography Chapter 12 - Political Factor :) |
 |
| You don't get to see this greeneries in Singapore! |
 |
| A bunch of kids with Down's Syndrome. |
 |
| These kids are slowly recovering! |
Arrived at Mersing after a 3 hour-long ride! Being a gentleman, I let the ladies roll out of the coach first (and let them carry my dive bag out... HAHA EVILELVIS). It was really really hot and the sun was the ultimate glaring machine. We alighted the coach, grabbed our stuff and were given another liberty to roam this place. Instead of having our lunch first, we explored the shops down the street and checked out a lot of things they sell.
 |
| Welcome to Mersing! |
 |
| Having our lunch here in Mersing! |
 |
| Camwhoring inside the Fishermen Dive Explorer ferry! |
 |
| Zavier and his anorexic face... |
 |
| Cus we duh Asian, dat why our eyes rook rike dental floss! |
 |
| Sayonara Mersing! |
Right after the safety briefing given by our dive instructors, we rushed up to the 2nd storey to chill. Never have I expected how cooling and relaxed it was on top! The sea breeze brushed across our faces like some therapeutic facial spa. We don't get to experience the vast ocean in Singapore. This is like... the start of our life! WE ACTUALLY HAD A LIFE THEN!!
 |
On the second storey of the boat!
|
 |
| Me and my Darlie Toothpaste teeth :D |
 |
| Brian looked like he wants a picture with me. So I acceded to his request... Or was it the other way round...? |
 |
| Agent Peasaimonster to home base. Can you read me? We've discovered a lot of peasai here! |
 |
| Birth Promotion Measure, activated. |
 |
| The water is green... AT FIRST |
 |
| "Hey Girl~ People call me Elvis, but you can call me Tonight." |
 |
| Whole bunch of Marists and teachers crowding at the 2nd storey. |
 |
| Just trying to pose for a DEEP shoot :) |
 |
| This is my grandfather's sea >;) |
 |
| Boobie Attack! HAIYA! |
 |
| Mr Eric Tan! The coolest and most chill teacher in Maris Stella :) |
 |
| This is a really beautiful islet :) |
 |
| While taking this photo, me and Gaylord were singing Titanium at max volume :) |
 |
| TA-DA! THE WATER IS DEEP BLUE NOW! |
 |
| Dangling my legs of the edge of the boat because... YOLO! |
 |
| I see... THE WORLD! |
 |
| Feet spa at the stern of the boat! |
 |
| Never felt this relaxed! |
 |
| ~Peace~ |
 |
| To be or not to be... That is the question. |
 |
| The sea breeze upon our faces~ |
 |
| Zavier, Brian, Brendan, Gaylord and ME! |
 |
| And we are here at south of Tioman Island! |
 |
| The water is so clear! I can like, see the coral reefs already! |
Immediately as we reach Tumuk, instructions were passed down to suit up and practice our snorkeling. When I first enter the water, I could see a different world below. A magically enchanted utopia. The Underwater World! It was my very first time witnessing coral reefs and a whole school of fishes, right beneath my nose! The excitement and adrenaline rush was too great for me to handle. So... I started screaming with joy like a little bitch... Haha. You won't understand the beauty unless you see it for yourself. Trust me, this is actually something worthwhile.
 |
| Tumuk, Pulau Tioman :) SNORKELING TIME! |
 |
| Brian and Max doing the Titanic! Looks... Rather wrong... |
 |
| And that's me. Ruling the sea! |
 |
| I see you people in Singapore sulking! MUAHAHAHA! (Sexy undies) |
 |
| One Arm Push Up on the Sun Deck :) |
 |
| Gaylord attempting triple clap push up! |
WOOHOO! We reached Salang already! It's really a wonderful sight! The water is torquiest and the sea was calm! By the way, if we were to pee in the toilet of the boat, the pee will be flushed away by the moving waters beneath the boat into the sea. So technically, if we shit onboard, yup. I'll leave you to fill in the blanks.
And in Tioman, walking around the island without a shirt on is a norm. There in Tioman, I'm 60% of the time shirtless, walking around the place, eating and shopping. You'll get to see all the female tourists wearing dem' bikinis striding with pride *WHEW YOU WHEW!* Hahaha that was perverted...
 |
| Salang Bay, North of Tioman Island |
 |
| On the jetty of Salang Reef! |
 |
| SEC 4 GROUP SHOT! |
During the evening after our bath, we went to the beach to pick up some dead corals on shore. The sunset was magnificent! We watched as the sun gradually recede into the horizons. What a pleasant sight! Oh great... No internet connection here... So instead, I had to pay RM10 for the receptionist to enter the Wifi password on my phone... Stingy prick! Usage of Wifi also need money... PSSHH -.- Away from civilization for a few hours and I'm starting to feel outdated :( Effects of living in the First World...
 |
| Sunset in Tioman~ |
 |
| A beautiful place, isn't it? |
 |
| Tossing corals into the sea! |
 |
| MEAL TIME! |
At night, we had our dinner in an open eatery serving loads of Malaysian cuisines! However, I've got to say that the quantity of our meals were not enough... Either that or my appetite is as huge as... An obese king? JUST JOKING! I'm still very hungry! After our dinner, all freedom was granted. We, the Sec 4 gang, roamed about the place in search of good food. AWESOME! RAMLY BURGER WAS THERE! NOM NOM NOM! DELICIOUS! In order to have internet access, I had to camp outside the reception (which is closed at night WTF?) to tweet, instagram and Facebook. One cool thing was that, they had TV there casting movies and dramas :) The night life in Tioman was pretty awesome though... SINCE THERE WERE BARS SELLING ALCOHOL AND ALL THE SWAG DRINKS! I wanted to have a first-hand taste of swag. Therefore, being a YOLOmaster, I bought... Strawberry Milkshake... *cricket* HEY! THE STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE WAS HEAVENLY OKAY!! Who needs alcohol man... Pfft...
Lights Out! Actually I couldn't really sleep the first night. I was pretty worried that the ants would crawl out at night and terrorize my virginity. I'm purer that distilled water okay! HAHA! None of us wanted to switch off the light because we were just that lazy. My roommates were Ian Pe and Gaylord. So we just dozed off until Mr Denis Koh knocked on the door...
 |
| And this is the street we stay! P.S, the people were still sleeping in the morning. |
 |
| This is the volleyball area :) |
 |
| And this is our room... RT29... There's an ants' nest behind the bed... Toilet hygiene - Thumbs down :( |
Day 2. We started our dive sessions. Really intrigued by the huge coral beside me and the silvery fishes that swam around us underwater. It's super awesome :) However, unlucky me. Didn't relief my bladder before the dive. Due to the pressure, when I surfaced I wanted to use the toilet so urgently that I just ditched my buddy and fin all the way to the boat alone. Lesson learnt: Pee before every dive!
 |
| The Malaysian Police Coast Guard... Ferrying people when they are bribed -.- |
 |
| Beach ball session with all the Marists and two girls after our dives :) |
 |
| ~The sun goes down, the stars come out~ |
Once again at night, we were chilling around in the island. Suddenly, Puo Yuan was so desperate about drinking alcohol that he kept bugging me to join him. I didn't want any trouble so I just kept lookout for any incoming teachers while he made a hasty purchase for an alcoholic drink called Pina Colada. It was a tasty cocktail with pineapple aroma, drank a little of it and I could feel the burning sensation down my throat! Brrrr... I actually dislike those drinks...
Lights out once again. Instead of sleeping, the three of us were gossiping about people while lying on our bed. You can call us, Gossip Guys :) After a long gossip session, I started dozing off unknowingly...
Day 3. AWESOME! WE ARE HEADING TO MARINE PARK TO FEED FISHES UNDERWATER! As we dive, I could see sea lions and a whole lot of different fishes! We brought along bread stuffed into a bottle and fed the fishes. It was really interesting to watch a school of fish engulf us and nibble on the bread in our hands. We all saw this very colourful fish called parrotfish swimming around us, but was too shy to eat the bread :) I've gotta say, it was freezing underwater. And based on my instructor's dive computer, it was 30 degree celsius only! It was so cold as if the world's population was telling cold jokes simultaneously! HAHA! See what I did there? N... No? Okay... That... Irony... *Awkward turtling*
We did our graduation jumps from the jetty of Marine Park and took a lot of photos there. Sadly, the camera wasn't mine so there isn't any cool shots of our jumps here :(
After our lunch, we headed to Ringgis Island for our next dive. When I made entry into the water, I couldn't even see the seabed :O It was super deep! And so, we dived all the way down to 10.5m and leisurely swam underwater!
As we were diving and enjoying the corals, the dive instructor stopped us and pointed at something underneath a crevice of a coral reef... Holy shit... THERE'S A FREAKING GINORMOUS MONSTER! IT WAS A FREAKING GIANT MORAY EEL HOLY COW! So freaked out because its head was twice that of ours and seemed to stretch out as long as 2m+! That creepy shit was watching every single move we made, like how I camped outside a kindergarten waiting to kidnap a little boy.... I MEAN ERR... "Kidnap" a little boy called Tom and bring him home to his parents.... In my white van... Selling free candies.... Oops! HAHAHA! Everyone was rather petrified and kept a good distance away from that monster.
What's more? The instructor stopped as once again and directed our attention to a school of oblong-shaped fishes 4m away from us. Apparently... THOSE WERE FREAKING FIERCE BARRACUDAS! Haha, yeah, I'm a barracuda as well (NCC emblem) but, those were the real deal. I'm just a pseudo version of them! Those voracious fishes had protruding lower jaws and were pretty long. TIME TO MOVE ON BEFORE CHUNKS OF OUR FLESH GETS RIPPED! We also saw a cuttlefish and sea turtle swimming about. Yup and that's it for our 30mins dive :)
We had a long long surface interval to remove excess nitrogen in our body. After which, we headed for our last dive at Soyak. It was really funny to see a sunken gym and sunken treadmill underwater, 10m below sea level! Like, which fish would use those? As we were diving, The instructor signaled to us the presence of 2 triggerfish! OMG! Those fishes are territorial and aggressive. Their teeth were meant to crush shells for food, so messing with those badass would be the last thing on the YOLO checklist. Well for me, I was pretty darn scared of those, and so were the other divers. We all squeezed so close to each other when we saw the triggerfish!
 |
Be right back. Running on a sunken treadmill now.
|
 |
Yellow-tail Barracudas! NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
|
We also saw 2 giant sea turtle, as long as 3/4 of my height! One of them was sleeping while the other one swam away swiftly as we approached. LEAVE NO TURTLE BEHIND YOU DUMB DUMB! There was also a blue spotted stingray resting on a coral. That shit was swift and agile! ZOOM ZOOM! It vanished into the cracks of a coral reef. As we were about to ascend, a lot of photos were taken and 99.9% had my handsome looking face in it. HAHAHA EGO MUCH! But then again, I did not conduct my safety stop properly and there was still excess nitrogen in my body. As a result, I suffered from mild nitrogen narcosis with stiff neck and a bad headache :(
 |
| Stonefish... Hmm... I'll eat it. |
 |
NEMO!
|
 |
Nemo learned his lesson and never came out of his coral again.
|
 |
| I remember eating this inside a packet food labelled "Dried Cuttlefish"? |
 |
| SEA TURTLE!! |
 |
Can I eat this? Stingray makes a sumptuous dinner!
|
 |
| After our last dive at Soyak :) |
 |
| That's a lot of fish! |
As we reached Salang and were heading to our rooms, I was whacked by something on my leg. When I turned back, it was a really really ultimate super duper mego giga CUTIE PIE hitting my leg with a stick! This adorable little native kid was giving me that puppy-like beseeching look! AWWW!! Brendan offered his index finger and asked the boy to hold his finger. That cutie pie ditched his explorer stick to hold Brendan's finger! He also held mine!! OMG <3! We then proceeded on to walking this boy away, with the intention of abducting that lil' kid. However, his mother appeared from behind us and carried her boy away! DANG IT! We were this close to eating that boy for dinner! HAHAHA! You know, when something is very cute and adorable, it makes you want to bite it, eat it, hug it, slap it and abuse it! LIKE... COME HERE GIVE ME A HUG! No? Wait.. You don't think of that.... Oh.... I think... It's just me... *Awkward silence* Haha! Really want to have a baby like that! DARN CUTE! There's only one way to get a baby.... And that's adoption! OH YEAH HAHAHA YOU DIRTY MINDED FREAK FILLING IN YOUR OWN BLANKS! HAHAHA! ~RANDOM~
 |
| ALMOST ABDUCTED THIS ADORABLE NATIVE KID!! SO KAWAII!!! <3 |
 |
| "Hey Girl, If you were a triangle, you'll be ACUTE one~ Gimme a kiss will ya?" |
Day 3 dinner was awesome! We walked all the way to a Chinese restaurant in Tioman and tasted the best food we have had since Day 1! The restaurant was pretty luxurious as compared to other eateries here in Tioman. Chicken drumsticks, veggies, soup etc. While we feast, we started chatting a lot with the teachers on our table (Mr Philip ad Mr Nicholas Koh). Soon after, when my blood glucose level rose after the meal, I entered a state of hyperactivity called "getting high". I went on to telling a ton of jokes, imitations of school teachers, gossiping and pick up lines :) Managed to make everyone on the table laugh their intestines out!
 |
| I TOLD YOU GUYS TO TAKE A PHOTO OF US! NOT YOURSELF! Darn bullies... |
 |
| "Hey Angel, you duh sexaayyy!" |
 |
| DERP! |
12 June 2013. It was Wilfred's birthday! They ordered a roasted chickens to celebrate his birthday. Once again, I was sipping on my strawberry milkshake and placing the delicious roasted chicken into my mouth. DAYUUUM! That was some good supper :) And we had our supper by the beach! How awesome is that?
 |
| This little kitty wanted some chicken! Haha we called her "The Pussy Destroyer"! HAHAHA |
Day 4: It's time to pack up and leave Pulau Tioman... Really very upset to leave because it was all back to Singapore and mugging time. Relieved my stress within this 4D3N trip... Plus, I felt how having a life was there in Tioman. Even though we were away from civilization, everything was so enjoyable and fun. From beachball sessions, to chit-chatting sessions, to lepak sessions. Those were amazing times... I'm extremely grateful that Maris Stella caters such excellent opportunities to partake in such risky yet relaxing sport! Maris Stella is da sex bomb y'all!
 |
| GO MARIST! |
 |
| I think you have 3 copies of chromosome 21... HAHAHA LOVE YA MAYLE! |
 |
| Checking out of the resort already :'( |
 |
| "Hey Girl. You like duh rice, I never get sick of you! DO MEH HAM SAP LO!" |
 |
| Mr. BirthdayBoi97 mimicking my Darlie toothpaste smile... PFFT! |
 |
| Departure time! Gonna miss you Tioman :'( |
 |
| "Excuse me Girl, you dropped something. My jaw!" *Wolf howling* |
 |
| The island slowly vanished into the mist... |
 |
| I had a life... HAD. |
Everything seemed so dull on the journey back to Lion City. The atmosphere was totally opposite when we headed for Tioman. Everyone was sleepy and tired. For me, I felt really emo. Maybe because it was mainly due to the song I was listening to, which was The Myth - Endless Love! I LOVE YOU KIM HEE SUN!! Her voice is the sexiest one I've heard!
 |
| BOUGHT THIS COOL SHIRT OMG! My arms are freaking veiny... :( |
 |
| Final toilet break and we are back to Singapore~ |
When we arrived back in Singapore, everything was so dull. By dull I mean the sulking faces of Singaporeans onboard MRT and other places... Soon after 5mins, I succumbed and conformed to the Singaporean atmosphere. Gradually, my life disintegrated right in front of me...
Alright. Have go to bed early. I'm running a fever from over-exhaustion. Haven't gotten enough rest because MY ASIAN MUM WOKE ME UP 7AM FOR 2 DAYS TO STUDY TILL LATE AT NIGHT! She didn't even bother asking "How's your trip?" when I got home. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID? "Shuddap Ham Sap Lo! I dun want to listen to your steeeewwpid stories! GO INTO YOUR ROOM AND START ON YOUR HOMEWORK, DO MEH!"
Mum pls. Stahp eet!
~Peace Out~
 |
| Because you will not regret it :) |
